He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
