Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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