Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
