I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
