Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
