Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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