No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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