Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
