we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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