was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
