you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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