PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
