Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
