Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
