I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
worst night to have a conscience
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
