Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
