I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
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