i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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