it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Randomize
