My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
