There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize