sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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