i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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