Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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