i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
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