$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
