hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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