I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize