was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
