I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
