i just wanna soil my oats bro
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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