If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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