i just made my gag reflex go away.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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