Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
