My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
