Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
