My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
