At least make sure they are 18
Why
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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