return my video game
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
