Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
