Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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