Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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