I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
