On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
