Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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