its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
