This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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