i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
