i permit you to call me
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
