Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
