Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize