I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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