You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Come on in and take your pants off
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