I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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