Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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