Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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