its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize