Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
