dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
not ubering you a puppy
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
